Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Day 5. Dreams

I'm reading "Touching Wonder: Recapturing the Awe of Christmas". It was a free download and I thought I would glance through and see what it held. I had no idea how captivated I would become with the words as told by various characters in our story.
Over the years many of them have already been considered I have let my mind wander to the thoughts of "what was it like for_______?". And fill in the blank with different members of this cast. I will give my thoughts another day. Today I will share a tiny bit from the book that is hard to lay down yet hard to remain in for long periods of time. It pierces the soul, makes you really sit in awe of this story if you allow yourself to delve into its depths.

You know who reminds me of me these days? Old Job, faithful old Job. I too followed the commandments, no one forced me, it was my decision. Yet all seemed taken away, like Job.
Before that I had other dreams. Dreams with no angels in them. I Dreamed of Mary and a house full of children, of growing old with her. The children would grow strong and devout and Mary and I would ease into a cranky elegance. We would live a well ordered life. Then all those dreams were snatched away.
If you do not believe there were moments when I was tempted to " curse God and die" then you make me out to be something I am not. I am not angel or one of the lesser God's. I am a man and this was not the life I had planned.
But curse the Mighty One? I could not. My ordered life? a memory...The control I'd long worked to establish? Gone. Maybe it was never really there but I thought it was and I lived like it was.
My reputation among family and friends? Stained. What kind of story have I fallen into?

there will be more from this book throughout the coming days. Keep reading and let it sink in.

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